So I am sitting here, stressing out and trying not to cry because I quit my job and the replacement job i thought i had fell through. I don't know what I am supposed to do without money and feel useless without a job. I was just thinking about everything when I realized that this is my 10 year annaversary month from my last chemo and the last thing that I should be doing is crying becuase I am probably going to leave the only place I have ever lived to find something better. So that's what I will do for this weekend CELEBRATE! I am alive and, well, mostly healthy and that's something unbelievable and most excellent. If anyone has any ideas on where I can find a job that involves really helping people and not just customer service on the phones anymore please let me know.

How much can the heart sustain? It's the strongest hardest working organ in the body. On top of that we hold our emotions in this place. How much can a person go through before they give up? I mean I am suprised that myself and a lot of the people I know are going strong through tragedy, illness and heartache.  I know I have wanted to give up before, especially when I really seem to be sucking at life. But there is always that something inside of us that keeps us going with faith, hope and prayers that one day things will get better. Sometimes they do and sometimes they get worse. But it's those times that things to get better that really keep us going and those are the times we have to fight hardest to hold on to.

Seems it's really simple to hold onto the bad things in life, the people that hurt us, the hard times we have had to fight through and the people that were taken too soon. But it's so hard to hold on to the good times, they slip away so fast sometimes. But we have to learn to do it. Hold on to the people you love, the ones that are there for you. Hold on to the laughter and the smiles between the tough stuff because that's what gets us through all the other junk! When you don't have it, try to make it. Go to the park with a kid, hell, just talk to a kid for a while and you will realize how awsome their naiveness is. Everything is awesome! lol.

I dunno I am just rambling on. Trying to remind myself that I need to keep an eye on the good things in life and look forward to the good times to come.