I know that last time I wrote I was super negative and basically sucking at life. It;s hard sometimes when you feel like you've been through so much hell in your life and even when it's all over you still feel brought down because no matter what you do life is just too much and too hard to deal with. Like you are starting to feel ok with things then suddenly have something knock you down. But it's not a small trip like it should be but a full on fall because you were already so tired from the events before. Right now i am learning to make my little incidents and what would be harmless medical malfunctions just that instead of a minor freak out that the cancer came back or the long term side effects from the chemo have effected me. 

As with most of the cancer survivors i know, all my heroes, I have a respect for life and the limited time we have on this earth and try to love and live to the fullest. It's blown up in my face terribly when it comes to matters of the heart. I tend to love completely and don't want to take anyone for granted. I make sure they know how i feel. However with matters of the heart people are unpredictable and they can always change their minds. 

I am a 9 year survivor of childhood bone cancer. I fought through it twice and made it. Nothing should be able to get me down after that and i need to learn that. Any suggestions? hah! Hopefully soon we will all find our places in the world even if it does take a while.